What Is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness Definition
There is no one set definition for mindfulness. So when I started this business, Together Mindful, around 2021, I came up with my own. It’s based on about 15 years of mindfulness research, personal practice, and client feedback.
Mindfulness is the quality of paying attention to the present moment with awareness, acceptance, kindness, compassion, curiosity, and nonjudgment.
You don’t have to remember these. They are the factors I found show up when we’re intentionally grounding ourselves in the present moment, the qualities we cultivate while practicing mindfulness meditation, and the outcomes we see when we attune to being more mindful.
These qualities are also the what and how of being mindful - the instructions themselves for being more present.
What you are doing is becoming more aware and accepting of whatever this moment has to offer. How you approach this moment is with kindness, compassion, curiosity, and nonjudgment.
What Mindfulness Is Not
Mindfulness is not the same as meditation. There are numerous types of meditation, such as, Transcendental Meditation (TM), Zen meditation, mantra meditation, inner child meditations, and various forms of religious or spiritual meditations.
Mindfulness meditation is one form of meditation that is grounded in the present moment and the shifting of attention or “noticing” what is happening in this moment. Mindfulness meditation is about non-striving, meaning, there is no specific goal in mind such as “clearing the mind” or becoming “enlightened.” It is also not about relaxing, calming, or focusing, though these may all be pleasant byproducts of the practice.
There is no wrong way to practice mindfulness as long as you are aware and accepting of this moment, notice when your mind wanders or you get distracted away from the present moment, and intentionally choose to shift your attention back to the present moment. How you participate or engage in this moment is with kindness, compassion, curiosity, and nonjudgment.
Even if you notice racing thoughts, stress, or lots of distractions, or on the flip side, you’re not aware of much at all, you are still practicing being mindful. If you feel happy or content, it is not a sign that you are doing it “right” or that you meditate well. Similarly, if you feel on edge or overwhelmed, it doesn’t mean mindfulness meditation “doesn’t work” for you or that you’re the kind of person who “just can’t meditate.” What it means is that you are aware and accepting of this moment, however the moment is, and you approach it with the qualities mentioned above, whether you perceive what you notice as “good” or “bad.”
'Cause nothing in this life is good or bad
It's we who dress it up as happy or sad
And no one in this life is sinner or saint
It's just energy running up the stream
Or down the drain
- Gogol Bordello, We Shall Sail
Informal Mindfulness
Mindfulness can occur spontaneously and it can be practiced in formal and informal ways.
Spontaneous mindfulness occurs when you become aware of your five senses or how you feel in this moment. For example, if you’re walking your dog and suddenly feel the warmth of the sun on your cheeks or the breeze of the air running through your jacket. When you walk into a kitchen and smell the sweet scent of grandma’s cookies. When you’re sad and feel your heart feeling heavy and your eyes welling up with tears. In these micro moments, you are mindful. You didn’t have to do anything, you simply allowed yourself to be and arrived where you are.
You can be more mindful naturally and have more frequent mindful moments by choosing to practice mindfulness regularly in your day to day life and through mindfulness meditation.
In daily life, all you have to do is intentionally turn your attention to your senses. For example, when you’re doing the dishes, noticing the smell of the soap, the texture of the sponge, and the temperature of the water.
When you’re eating, noticing hunger cues in your stomach, saliva in your mouth, and the taste of that first bite of something crunchy and delicious. Shifting your attention between bites to what you can smell, the different textures of your meal, and what “fulness” and “satisfaction” feel like in your body. This can be a great way to eat slower, enjoy your meal more, and consume less or more based on your body’s needs.
When choosing to practice mindfulness informally in your daily life, you don’t have to spend more that just a few moments or minutes on it. The more regularly you do it, the more mindful you will be.
My favorite way to practice being mindful, especially on work days, is to step away from my laptop to the nearest window a couple of times a day. For just a minute or two I look out and notice the colors of the trees and sky, animals that are passing through, the smell of fresh air if the window is open, and how I feel in my body while I take in my surroundings. I’ll often close my eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths. This alone is enough for me to feel more grounded, focused, and re-energized, as well as more relaxed in my body.
Formal Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation is a great way to become more mindful overall as well as giving yourself time to decompress, slow down, and just be as a person with yourself. Think of it as an opportunity to reconnect with your own mind, body, and emotions - whether you’re overwhelmed and need a break, or feeling content or excited. It’s a check-in with yourself that allows you to breathe, pause, and reflect before making any other decisions in your life. It can be a great daily self-care practice as well as a tool in your back pocket for challenging times.
Mindfulness meditation is time set aside specifically to practice being mindful. Ideally, it is something you do on a regular basis. Meditating for just a few minutes every day is better that taking a half hour once a week or an hour once a month. The more you return to the practice, the more benefits you will see in the short and long-term.
There are many ways to practice mindfulness meditation including but not limited to mindful breathing, body scans, awareness of your senses, walking meditations, drawing meditations, lovingkindness meditations, etc.
The premise of all these meditations is the same, though the primary “focus” of the practice may be different. For example, the what you’re paying attention to can shift from your mind, body, emotions, and surroundings. And, when you notice yourself getting distracted, you simply shift your attention back with kindness, compassion, curiosity, and nonjudgment. If your mind wanders a hundred times, you bring it back to whatever you’re paying attention to one hundred times.
The hallmark of “successful” practice is not the focusing or how you feel, but the noticing and coming back to the present. You are strengthening the muscle of noticing when your attention has strayed and intentionally choosing to direct it where you want it to go.
Why Practice Mindfulness?
In short, because it can help you experience more choice, freedom, peace, and joy in your life, work, and relationships.
When you are present, you temporarily suspend worry and rumination, because in the present moment more often than not, there are no problems (most problems either already happened in the past or haven’t happened yet). As you practice being mindful, it can feel like your problems melt away only to become more manageable when you return to them - if they’re still there.
Being present also often makes us feel grateful. If you’re tuned into your senses and what you can see, hear, taste, etc., you appreciate those things being in your life that much more.
It can create a sense of awe and wonder at the rich life you get to experience in everyday moments.
When you bring your attention to the present moment, especially after a few deep breaths or a formal meditation, you get to be more intentional about what happens next. You decide what’s important enough for you to put your attention on next. This can help you be more focused, productive, and efficient than when you are working on autopilot mode based on old habits and routines.
You get to truly experience your life instead of noticing that it’s just passing you by. Often, it can make you feel like you’re slowing down time and getting to enjoy the mundane, the big milestones, and everything in between.
You strengthen your connection to yourself, get to know your thoughts, emotions, and body, and you get to show up as the full and authentic version of you wherever you go.
It helps you communicate better with other people and can foster more meaningful connections with them.
It can increase your sense of empathy, perspective-taking, and wellbeing. It can help you be a kinder, more compassionate and understanding human. It can help you be a better leader, manager, and more self-led individual.
It lowers your reactivity so you can act it more intentional, values-based ways. It can help you be more forgiving and accepting of mistakes and perceived flaws, while retaining motivation and drive for improvement and growth.
There are many more reasons to be mindful and practice mindfulness meditation. Sign up for my free Mindfulness Toolkit to experience peace, joy, and gratitude for yourself in just 3 minutes!